i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
