yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
