and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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