I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
