I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
