i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
