Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
