I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
