You can't motorboat a personality
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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