do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
