You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
