apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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