im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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