Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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