why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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