1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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