I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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