Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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