How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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