I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
