What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
