Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
