That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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