I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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