WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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