I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
