i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
