New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
