haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
