I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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