i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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