sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
