there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
