shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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