Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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