I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
