Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
