I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My ATM looks so different sober.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
