The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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