Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
