TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
