I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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