this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
