Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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