i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I party with great urgency now.
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