I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Of course I have a pirate flag
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
