It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
