she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
