Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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