so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
