Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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