dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
