So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
